Praise from the Valley

這首歌是寫給所有在等候的人, 不論你正在等候疾病康復, 還是等候家人回心轉意, 或者是等待機會, 我們一生都在經歷等待的過程。許多病人跟我一樣渴望能趕快回歸到原本的生活, 恢復健康與自由。我們常常在等待的時候覺得日子好像度日如年, 也經常想要用自己的方式, 堅持意見來改變現狀, 達到想要的目的, 但往往靠自己卻造成更多的焦慮與無力感。

聖經中有一句話說 ：「你們得救在於悔改和安息，你們得力在於平靜和信靠。」(以賽亞書30:15)

我在等待的過程中, 這句話給我很大的安定與力量。

在我從無菌室出院返家後, 有一度我認為時間差不多了, 我可以像正常健康的人一樣自由活動, 回歸群聚的原本生活。那時候的我幾乎像個無理取鬧的小孩一樣堅持己見, 家人跟朋友都說要好好休息, 而我自己卻覺得我已經休息夠了。當時我覺得就算我疾病好, 我心裡也悶出病來。陪病者, 也就是我先生為了安撫我的情緒, 也承受很大的壓力。站在陪病者的角度, 他知道我免疫系統還沒建立完全, 不能到處亂跑。站在病人的角度, 我卻覺得他無法理解病人的感受與難處。

就在我堅持己見的時候, 我發燒了, 而燒退剛恢復沒多久, 我又二度感染, 這次是新冠。當時我的免疫系統還在重建的階段, 任何的感染都必須當作急診處理。那陣子心情很煩燥, 想靠自己的方式證明我已經好了, 卻變成一個月內兩次急診。

直到有一天我腦海裡突然冒出這句來自聖經的話: 你們得力在於平靜和信靠。平靜信靠這四個字突然把我敲醒, 這幾個月我平靜了嗎? 我似乎一直想要用自己的方式達到目的。我在信靠誰? 是我自己, 還是那位充滿恩慈醫治我的上帝? 我的平靜安穩是根據甚麼? 是因為我想要的終於達到? 還是因為我知道神愛我?

當我回歸到祂的愛裡面, 沉浸在祂的慈愛恩典裡, 我的心才真正能得著安定。我能安穩地跟還在復原中的自己相處, 也能用感恩的心接納現況並耐心等待。等待不是漫不目的, 消極的過一天算一天。神應許亞伯拉罕會有一位兒子賜給他時, 他75歲。亞伯拉罕足足等候到100歲終於得著愛子以撒。約瑟在埃及坐冤獄的那些年日, 神也從來沒有停止工作過, 最終約瑟出監成為了埃及的宰相,救了他的家跟以色列人。等候的歲月, 從來不是被浪費的歲月, 而是神在幕後編織祂旨意的歲月。

因此我知道這段等候的時間是出於神愛我。耶穌在十字架上所為我做的已經足夠, 在我身上流的是耶穌賜下的新血, 舊事已過, 一切都是新的, 我是新造的人! 神在這段等待的時間除了醫治我, 更是在持續更新我的生命。

無論你現在是否也是在等待中, 等待疾病或是困難過去, 最安穩的地方就是躲在上帝的翅膀蔭下, 直等到災害過去。等待有時感覺漫長, 但神從未離開, 在多大的風浪中,祂始終都在, 祂一直在陪伴。

得力在乎平靜和信靠。

This song is written for all who have been waiting. Whether you are waiting for illness to recover, waiting for a loved one to change their mind, or waiting for an opportunity, our entire life is a process of waiting. Many patients, like me, yearn to return to their normal life as soon as possible, to regain health and freedom. We often feel that the days drag on like years when we are waiting, and we try to change the situation in our own way, insisting on our opinions to achieve our goals. However, relying on ourselves often leads to more anxiety and helplessness.

There is a verse in the Bible that says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.” (Isaiah 30:15)

During my waiting process, this verse gave me great comfort and strength.
After I was discharged from the sterile room and returned home, there was a time when I thought enough time had passed, and I could move freely like a healthy person, returning to my original life of gathering with others. At that time, I almost insisted like a spoiled child. My family and friends told me to rest well but I felt I had rested enough. I believed that even if my illness was healing, I was still troubled inside. My caregiver, my husband, tried to soothe my emotions and also bore great pressure. From his perspective, he knew my immune system had not fully recovered and I couldn’t go around like I used to. From my perspective as the patient, I felt he couldn’t understand my feelings and difficulties.

Just as I was stubborn in my beliefs, I developed a fever. When the fever subsided, I was infected again—this time with COVID-19. My immune system was still in the process of rebuilding, and any infection had to be treated as an emergency. I was very anxious during that time, trying to prove on my own that I was already well, but it resulted in two emergency visits within a month.
Until one day, a verse from the Bible suddenly appeared in my mind: “In quietness and trust is your strength.” These four words—quietness and trust—woke me up. Had I been peaceful all these months? It seemed I had always wanted to achieve my goals in my own way. Who am I trusting? Myself, or the merciful God who heals me? On what basis is my peace and stability founded? Is it because I finally achieved what I wanted, or because I know that God loves me?
When I returned to His love and immersed myself in His grace and mercy, my heart truly found peace. I could calmly be with the still-recovering me, and I could accept the present situation with gratitude and wait patiently. Waiting is not aimless or passive—just passing days, counting days. When God promised Abraham that he would have a son, Abraham was 75 years old. Abraham waited until he was 100 before finally receiving his beloved son Isaac. Joseph, during those years in prison in Egypt, God never stopped working; ultimately, Joseph was released, became Pharaoh’s prime minister, saved his family and Israel. The years of waiting are never wasted; they are the times when God weaves His will behind the scenes.

Therefore, I know that this period of waiting is because of God’s love for me. What Jesus did for me on the cross is already enough. The blood flowing in me is the new blood Jesus gave, and everything old has passed away—behold, all things are new. I am a new creation! During this waiting time, God is not only healing me but also continuously renewing my life.

Whether you are also waiting now—for illness or difficulties to pass—the safest place is to hide under God’s wings, waiting until the calamity passes. Waiting can sometimes feel long, but God has never left. No matter how stormy the weather, He is always present; He is always accompanying us.

Our strength lies in quietness and trust.